Jesus Land by Julia Scheeres: 5 of 5

With Jesus Land Julia Scheeres created one of my favourite novels in a long time - except it's a memoir.  The book languished on my shelf for quite a while because the whole title is actually Jesus Land: A Memoir.  I'm not a huge fan of the memoir; I can appreciate the writing and the stories, but the story arc of a novel is generally, for me, far more engaging.  Perhaps that's one reason why I liked Jesus Land.  It reads like a novel with real characters and a 'plot' that details Scheeres's arc from teenager almost crushed by monstrous circumstances to the first steps towards happiness as an adult.

But that's just the beginning of why I liked it.

Julia Scheeres officially became the bravest writer I have read in a long time with this book.  Not because she reveals the traumas of her early life - abusive parents, sexual abuse, a bad relationship to alcohol, or a longing to be loved.  Those are deeply personal, of course, and require a huge risk to publish a book about, but to some extent those are things that happened TO her.  In revealing to the world that you survived those episodes you are also saying, 'You didn't break me. Here I am.'  

Where Scheeres's courage shines brilliantly is when she writes about being the white sister of adopted African American brothers in the racist milieu of Indiana.  She shows us how her brothers, particularly David, suffered as the only black kids in a school full of hostile white racists.  And she also shows us how, when given the opportunity, she sometimes chose to distance herself from David to better survive the cruelty of high school.

Scheeres shines the spotlight on her own shortcomings, showing us how her choices hurt the one person who had been true to her.  She emphasizes time and again how much David Scheeres wanted to be loved and accepted as part of a family just to let us know, deliberately, how much she likely hurt her own brother.  The decisions may not be admirable but they are understandable, the normal choices a lot of teenagers would make in a struggle to find a shred of acceptance in a truly unwelcoming and terrifying environment.  Throw in all the other elements of a torturous household and you, the reader, can see why her betrayal of David happened.

But it's still a betrayal, and Scheeres unflinchingly tells us what she did, baring to the world her own failure of loyalty.  Disclosing what happened to you is one thing, but to tell the world your shortcomings is a rare act of valour.

Julia Scheeres, thank you for your beautiful, tragic story and, truly, your bravery.